In my absence I hope you all find happiness togetherness with fewer arguments
Because the time that's spent divulging such hatred about irrelevant things...that can be forgiven...is senseless
Confessions won't be worth it...
You'd be better off taken a four fifth to the dome to dispose of the host that keep the hate you have afloat...
You will see hatred has no means in completing happiness within our physical or soulful being!
I hope you see in my absence many things will change I will return and very well won't be the same.
A limb or two may be absent but don't be confused this doesn't take away the veins of blood I would bleed for you!!!
Not of yours or my blame...
I just pray that God pour you with the love I can't show thru holding you...
I want you to fold your fingers not just to hold figures more than just a few times to remember
That in due time you may see my flesh as a divine spirit...
I'm not scared of it...
I relinquish this temple though not simple...
It’s about you my peoples...
I pray you will grow to know that in my absence my love desires to reach you through spirit
With no need of a clearance I will pay the full price to insure Christ will see you are all right!
In my absence I won't crack I will stand up straight and look my enemy in the face
Without hate but with the FAITH that each and every day you have prayed to keep me safe!!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
The End
The end is here my friend
I lay beside you with desire that must be defused to avoid confusion
Leaving us refusing to be truthful that this last touch full of lust be lost in the 30 min session
This lust has become such a mess and I apologize for my mistake in thinking I could create
A world that encompass a friendship to lead to endless sessions of our out of body experiences Cause there aint to many
D angerously A mbitious R ecklessly R elentless I ntelligently U nusual and S ensual men that can be such a friend
Your the man that has been but I let it go in hopes that if its written for us then so be it but on your terms
And only in the hour that you truly mean it will I run to you with expectations you will fufill to no end!!
I claimed for us with much disgust that this is THE END!!!
I lay beside you with desire that must be defused to avoid confusion
Leaving us refusing to be truthful that this last touch full of lust be lost in the 30 min session
This lust has become such a mess and I apologize for my mistake in thinking I could create
A world that encompass a friendship to lead to endless sessions of our out of body experiences Cause there aint to many
D angerously A mbitious R ecklessly R elentless I ntelligently U nusual and S ensual men that can be such a friend
Your the man that has been but I let it go in hopes that if its written for us then so be it but on your terms
And only in the hour that you truly mean it will I run to you with expectations you will fufill to no end!!
I claimed for us with much disgust that this is THE END!!!
So You Think I'm Silly
Silly of me to think that our rekindling meant anything more than the sweaty sheets and the vague memories of ecstasy...
Silly of me to believe you could grow to trust and nurture me drop a seed of belief that I could be more than your late night creep...
Silly of me to think warm food a clean bed my need to be smarter from the books I read to get ahead you would invest, spend a little bread opposed to filing my wounds with salt and my head with incomplete thoughts...
Yea it was silly of me when I found a new model that didn't worry about my throttle nor did he bottle his emotion instead we break bread and we nurture one another’s head with things that create a beautiful scenario you were to blind and couldn't see even though everyone said there you go...
Yea silly of me blinded by the brighter lights of less hype of being your want to be trif life wife!!!
Silly of me to think that I couldn't be presented with the 4'cs now the color of my days are no longer grey I've cut my loses and clearly see my path to red rose petal baths at last I'm so silly I just have to sit and laugh I'm happy I have finally left your ass!
Silly of me to believe you could grow to trust and nurture me drop a seed of belief that I could be more than your late night creep...
Silly of me to think warm food a clean bed my need to be smarter from the books I read to get ahead you would invest, spend a little bread opposed to filing my wounds with salt and my head with incomplete thoughts...
Yea it was silly of me when I found a new model that didn't worry about my throttle nor did he bottle his emotion instead we break bread and we nurture one another’s head with things that create a beautiful scenario you were to blind and couldn't see even though everyone said there you go...
Yea silly of me blinded by the brighter lights of less hype of being your want to be trif life wife!!!
Silly of me to think that I couldn't be presented with the 4'cs now the color of my days are no longer grey I've cut my loses and clearly see my path to red rose petal baths at last I'm so silly I just have to sit and laugh I'm happy I have finally left your ass!
The One
The one that has control enough to blow potential of growth
He was the one that held the gun to the walls of my heart created by love letters of hope that I would be the dopiest queen to a king that shine brighter than the modern day bling...
The one who would fold fingers...listen to old school singers making movements in the world to discourage my medicated aroma therapy to supersede boundaries that no man could ever dream one woman could be to one man in this land til he seen me...
Instead the one thing I can think of is smoking massive amounts of herb to explain why I have not gained the love I thought laid next to me with few games played asinine lies to abide by the rules of time
I refused to execute the time and patients to be his lady
The one that could go hard but now I know when not told what's understood don't need to be explained…
There was no game and I should have already known I wasn't the one to hold the throne building homes folding our kids clothes but it’s been fun bra' cause I could have never been the one bra’.
He was the one that held the gun to the walls of my heart created by love letters of hope that I would be the dopiest queen to a king that shine brighter than the modern day bling...
The one who would fold fingers...listen to old school singers making movements in the world to discourage my medicated aroma therapy to supersede boundaries that no man could ever dream one woman could be to one man in this land til he seen me...
Instead the one thing I can think of is smoking massive amounts of herb to explain why I have not gained the love I thought laid next to me with few games played asinine lies to abide by the rules of time
I refused to execute the time and patients to be his lady
The one that could go hard but now I know when not told what's understood don't need to be explained…
There was no game and I should have already known I wasn't the one to hold the throne building homes folding our kids clothes but it’s been fun bra' cause I could have never been the one bra’.
Monday, December 21, 2009
6 Degrees Of Separation
Six degrees of separation for me is the reference of many touching feelings that I never thought I'd seed.
Six degrees of separation has me regularly crying dying inside trying to pan out the pain..
There about misty rains from my sad yesterdays, your lies have exposed themselves creating less mental health.
The sixth degree, breathe down my neck relinquishing confessions of your mess with different mistresses.
I am fed up and my lyrics are on a buthcer block carving intricet pieces of your decet into my heart...
So I restart to stop believing in love cause six degrees take you to a totally different level of pain my mind will never be the same.
You take from me indirectly what I thought was sain in vein is the pain I felt you dealt with your needs for greed, begot the lie, begot the cheating...
The rationale now is that you never cared but I dare fall in love ever again I will stay in my lane never blame you for your infidelities it was me
Who was I to think that if you lied to GOD you wouldnt lie to me.
Could I have seen what was true, like how I felt when bullets hit above your belt, and I sutured you wounds like I was the spirit that take you from your dome?
Six degrees of separation has me hatin my space this small place displaced I wish I could erase the hate I have for you, it allow to much gloom to whom doesn't deserve what has been birthed from your lack thereof to keep it between us instead I was lead to believe your love for thee was exclusively TANTALISING!
Why do I type and write lyrics that tell other stories than your adoring love for me cause you was sleeping with her, her, and her, NOT ME!
Six degrees is what I need, my space, face book the new pet cemetery!
Dignitary fairies told me that you would hold me close but instead you hosted a different coat of magnums and fa tum to send me to places to replace me for what I thought we equated to be.....
Six degrees comes to close to me today! I pray that my mind can intertwine my fears that you were never really there when I thought you were the one that held me so dear!
Many feelings killing me that you could hold those close that can fold their lips that it was you at one point they were sweatin and hittin ecstasy with.
I attempt to contact to soon fall back and see the true mess of what you never confessed!!!
Six degrees of separation I hate it so please stay where you were cause I don't want you in my new world.
My writings are my words of course I said it before, but six degrees of separation is an unavoidable koi
Today I have so much hate dang near continplating gay feelings for another is a blunder
Less happy days playing these games of insane belief that you could have ever truly loved me as deep as the sea I bled for you who's who in this game of clue the pieces conceive the truth of what color your heart cold and blue!
No question of if you were the only dude I truly loved above myself this is a confession I know will be worth it and lead me to self help cause I never truly dealt with how I felt when you told me it was over closure was the furthers thing from my mind but to have to rewind time with dimes that you laid I hate SIX degrees of separation and all the games that it plays!
So I will learn to stay away from learning or dare try earning any love from another...
I am underneath the world to cure my disease of SIX DEGREES!
Six degrees of separation has me regularly crying dying inside trying to pan out the pain..
There about misty rains from my sad yesterdays, your lies have exposed themselves creating less mental health.
The sixth degree, breathe down my neck relinquishing confessions of your mess with different mistresses.
I am fed up and my lyrics are on a buthcer block carving intricet pieces of your decet into my heart...
So I restart to stop believing in love cause six degrees take you to a totally different level of pain my mind will never be the same.
You take from me indirectly what I thought was sain in vein is the pain I felt you dealt with your needs for greed, begot the lie, begot the cheating...
The rationale now is that you never cared but I dare fall in love ever again I will stay in my lane never blame you for your infidelities it was me
Who was I to think that if you lied to GOD you wouldnt lie to me.
Could I have seen what was true, like how I felt when bullets hit above your belt, and I sutured you wounds like I was the spirit that take you from your dome?
Six degrees of separation has me hatin my space this small place displaced I wish I could erase the hate I have for you, it allow to much gloom to whom doesn't deserve what has been birthed from your lack thereof to keep it between us instead I was lead to believe your love for thee was exclusively TANTALISING!
Why do I type and write lyrics that tell other stories than your adoring love for me cause you was sleeping with her, her, and her, NOT ME!
Six degrees is what I need, my space, face book the new pet cemetery!
Dignitary fairies told me that you would hold me close but instead you hosted a different coat of magnums and fa tum to send me to places to replace me for what I thought we equated to be.....
Six degrees comes to close to me today! I pray that my mind can intertwine my fears that you were never really there when I thought you were the one that held me so dear!
Many feelings killing me that you could hold those close that can fold their lips that it was you at one point they were sweatin and hittin ecstasy with.
I attempt to contact to soon fall back and see the true mess of what you never confessed!!!
Six degrees of separation I hate it so please stay where you were cause I don't want you in my new world.
My writings are my words of course I said it before, but six degrees of separation is an unavoidable koi
Today I have so much hate dang near continplating gay feelings for another is a blunder
Less happy days playing these games of insane belief that you could have ever truly loved me as deep as the sea I bled for you who's who in this game of clue the pieces conceive the truth of what color your heart cold and blue!
No question of if you were the only dude I truly loved above myself this is a confession I know will be worth it and lead me to self help cause I never truly dealt with how I felt when you told me it was over closure was the furthers thing from my mind but to have to rewind time with dimes that you laid I hate SIX degrees of separation and all the games that it plays!
So I will learn to stay away from learning or dare try earning any love from another...
I am underneath the world to cure my disease of SIX DEGREES!
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Society
Society pegged me to be a part of the 25% of seeds that are born with out a ring on the woman's wedding finger.
Society hoped I would be needy and undeserving, never to earn my degree(s)
Society counted on me to stand in line waiting for the penny's and dimes they provide, or seat outside of a building smelling like swine filled with bottles of wine.
Society feed me the belief that I could be all I could be if I bear my mind body and soul for 20 years...
Society fears the success of this beautiful princess...
Society refuses to believe that we can be saved but that we remain slaves in the 50 states...
Society says it is color blind but even in the scheme of things I am of dark skin and offends even my light skin friends...
Society is you and me so why cant we believe that both you and I can be winners but go figure you wouldn't dare let me be the beginner or the finisher!!!
Society takes away the larger than life icons and diminishes their great deeds like pythons...
Society is so venom's, it is not about you or me its about all of us dark, light, it doesn't matter you are not white, more politically correct Caucasian your statics are dated...
Society may continue to debate it, but its clear, by fourth grade I have a cell made. If I make it to 10th Ive already had a few kids! If I make it past 18 I might just be destined for great things. If I make it to 21 without being shot by a gun I'd better run...
Society I beg of thee to please just let GOD transcend me to what he wants me to be. The conspiracy theories have become to much for me. At 29 I hope to be the pedagogue for all my kings and queens.
Society just let me be!
Society hoped I would be needy and undeserving, never to earn my degree(s)
Society counted on me to stand in line waiting for the penny's and dimes they provide, or seat outside of a building smelling like swine filled with bottles of wine.
Society feed me the belief that I could be all I could be if I bear my mind body and soul for 20 years...
Society fears the success of this beautiful princess...
Society refuses to believe that we can be saved but that we remain slaves in the 50 states...
Society says it is color blind but even in the scheme of things I am of dark skin and offends even my light skin friends...
Society is you and me so why cant we believe that both you and I can be winners but go figure you wouldn't dare let me be the beginner or the finisher!!!
Society takes away the larger than life icons and diminishes their great deeds like pythons...
Society is so venom's, it is not about you or me its about all of us dark, light, it doesn't matter you are not white, more politically correct Caucasian your statics are dated...
Society may continue to debate it, but its clear, by fourth grade I have a cell made. If I make it to 10th Ive already had a few kids! If I make it past 18 I might just be destined for great things. If I make it to 21 without being shot by a gun I'd better run...
Society I beg of thee to please just let GOD transcend me to what he wants me to be. The conspiracy theories have become to much for me. At 29 I hope to be the pedagogue for all my kings and queens.
Society just let me be!
Take Her or Me!
Take her to Circus Circus
Don't blame her cause you didn't dig past the surface
Take me to therapy
Don't be made cause the doctor blamed you and not me
Take her to the mattress
Don't be upset if she becomes an actress
Take me through drama
Don't be mad if I run to my mamma's
Take from her what you think you are owed
Don't you dare wallow in our humble abode
Take her to church
Don't be upset if she'd rather be a sinner
Take me to work
Don't blame me cause I don't need your financial support
Take her to dinner
Don't blame her if she chooses to be thinner
Take me to get an IUD
Don't blame me cause I refuse to bear your seed
Take her to the doctor
Don't blame her cause your not the father
Take me to court
You mad now cause I got you for all your worth!
Don't blame her cause you didn't dig past the surface
Take me to therapy
Don't be made cause the doctor blamed you and not me
Take her to the mattress
Don't be upset if she becomes an actress
Take me through drama
Don't be mad if I run to my mamma's
Take from her what you think you are owed
Don't you dare wallow in our humble abode
Take her to church
Don't be upset if she'd rather be a sinner
Take me to work
Don't blame me cause I don't need your financial support
Take her to dinner
Don't blame her if she chooses to be thinner
Take me to get an IUD
Don't blame me cause I refuse to bear your seed
Take her to the doctor
Don't blame her cause your not the father
Take me to court
You mad now cause I got you for all your worth!
My Writings
My writings are no disguise for the oceans of emotion that find my face to be its coast and my eyes to be its host...
For most this wouldn't be a thing to boast...
But one small dose of your aroma sets my heart to a coma
Loan ah sista a hand pray with me and share AMENS, to our success of less stress and much of what we bless one another with....
I pray for liquidity in this entity...
My writings will never hide these feelings
I throw my hands to the ceiling and learn to do more kneeling cause this love is so appealing!
My writings are my words which are my feelings an absolute philosophy...
The prophecy allow me to speak through ink three words that are followed by action verbs that you deserve! My writings are my words...
For most this wouldn't be a thing to boast...
But one small dose of your aroma sets my heart to a coma
Loan ah sista a hand pray with me and share AMENS, to our success of less stress and much of what we bless one another with....
I pray for liquidity in this entity...
My writings will never hide these feelings
I throw my hands to the ceiling and learn to do more kneeling cause this love is so appealing!
My writings are my words which are my feelings an absolute philosophy...
The prophecy allow me to speak through ink three words that are followed by action verbs that you deserve! My writings are my words...
Saturday, December 19, 2009
My Awakening
My awakening came when you were never to blame...
Shameful that I stayed and waited in vein....
Only to be told the same things time and time again...
My tears hit the pillow and my body lay so still wishing you were there to take away all of my fears...
I asked of you to learn to hold my hand open your mouth and share things with me so that we can try and be friends...
Then there it was again!!!
My awakening I found that it will never be...
My heart tried over and over again to replay the situation so I can try and debate it but I'll take it once again at the very minimum partial blame you refuse to obtain...
My awakening will lead me to less painful emotions happiness will unfold and I will hold on to the hopes cause clearly its all a joke to you!
So go ahead and toast you have played your part from the start it was me who dug to deep to seek your heart...
I stand here before you planted on my own to feet telling you I can now see that you are not for me! My awakening is clear as day THANK YOU TIME AND TIME AGAIN!!!;-)
Shameful that I stayed and waited in vein....
Only to be told the same things time and time again...
My tears hit the pillow and my body lay so still wishing you were there to take away all of my fears...
I asked of you to learn to hold my hand open your mouth and share things with me so that we can try and be friends...
Then there it was again!!!
My awakening I found that it will never be...
My heart tried over and over again to replay the situation so I can try and debate it but I'll take it once again at the very minimum partial blame you refuse to obtain...
My awakening will lead me to less painful emotions happiness will unfold and I will hold on to the hopes cause clearly its all a joke to you!
So go ahead and toast you have played your part from the start it was me who dug to deep to seek your heart...
I stand here before you planted on my own to feet telling you I can now see that you are not for me! My awakening is clear as day THANK YOU TIME AND TIME AGAIN!!!;-)
Innosence
Snoring...water pouring outside...as If God was weeping for what mental beating the devil had waiting for me...He crept through fire ...while I continued to lye still as if my body were sleep and my innocence play hide go seek...my panties began to leave my waist down to my knees and off my feet no longer could my innocence ignore the deceit he had in store for me...God should I wake to look the devils pawn in the face, but at eight years of age what was I to say? Thundering and lightning my freight heightened my legs tightened...but not enough! This didn't equate to me I was still counting my 1 2 3's and playing with barbie's...wait...you are family...don't take from me my innocence please!!! Just as I thought he would stop...I heard his buttons continue to pop!! My heart dropped as my innocence escaped my physical...hovering over me like a saint sent from the King consoling what left I had to hold while my tears fell and my body fold!!! I listened as she spoke choking on hope consumed with the devils smoke as his long black fingers with claws continued to reach my sensitive walls...My innocence began TO SCREAM while trying to paint my mind with a beautiful scene of happiness to remove my soul from this distorted story the devil has told...so still my body lay...trying to make of why he is taking her away? Now begging him to wait..PLEASE DON'T TAKE HER FROM ME...can't you see its not her time to leave This is she and I last dying plea!!! My tongue silenced as my innocence spoke again reassuring me in years time I will be fine!!! Informing me unfortunately for what you have witnessed I must leave and never be seen again I am so sorry my young friend!! But good life my beautiful queen!! At only eight years of age he take from you what was to be seen only by your prince's eyes no disguises to hide this!!! through this I have learned less love is so real when the devils pawn placed his ill will upon my body... I cried while sleep trying to rewind the scene to remove him from me to retain my INNOCENCE that was so casually dismissed from my physical presence!!!
I Fell In Love
I fell in love with the dark skies the stars and the early morning sun...
I fell in love with the whisper of promise that never left your tongue...
I fell in love with our rendition of Christmas in August...
I fell in love with the spooning and the mid dawn poking of my guts...
I fell in love with the warmth of flesh that cupped my breast and softly placed kisses on my lips...
I fell in love with drunken nights and passive aggressive fights...
I fell in love with your might to always be right...
I fell in love with a whole lot of ifs ands or maybes never searching for truth because it didn't equate to me and you...
I fell in love with your random deliverance of the nickname baby...
I fell in love with the idea of monogamy and what astrology told me we were suppose to be...
Soul mates is what is written and thought one day I would see...
Today I'm left only to fall in love with me!
I fell in love with the whisper of promise that never left your tongue...
I fell in love with our rendition of Christmas in August...
I fell in love with the spooning and the mid dawn poking of my guts...
I fell in love with the warmth of flesh that cupped my breast and softly placed kisses on my lips...
I fell in love with drunken nights and passive aggressive fights...
I fell in love with your might to always be right...
I fell in love with a whole lot of ifs ands or maybes never searching for truth because it didn't equate to me and you...
I fell in love with your random deliverance of the nickname baby...
I fell in love with the idea of monogamy and what astrology told me we were suppose to be...
Soul mates is what is written and thought one day I would see...
Today I'm left only to fall in love with me!
My Appetite
My appetite is as large as life
Deliciously Appetizing Refreshingly Ridiculously Incredibly and Uniquely Succulent
A buffet is what he serves me from Friday to Saturday
Lust is at the very least I felt when he yelled across the bar being the cause of my instant waterfall
Who would've thought a year pass and he still be buttering my toast...
My appetite escaped to take the time and rewind to its flavorful memory
If you don't mind this meal is so Deliciously Appetizing Refreshingly Ridiculously and Uniquely Succulent!!!!
Deliciously Appetizing Refreshingly Ridiculously Incredibly and Uniquely Succulent
A buffet is what he serves me from Friday to Saturday
Lust is at the very least I felt when he yelled across the bar being the cause of my instant waterfall
Who would've thought a year pass and he still be buttering my toast...
My appetite escaped to take the time and rewind to its flavorful memory
If you don't mind this meal is so Deliciously Appetizing Refreshingly Ridiculously and Uniquely Succulent!!!!
Consistency
Consistency can be the the root of all things we believe are to be seen seemingly okay...
Why can't we take time and wait for the greatest things we cant see today?
Just cause you are happy with me and my consistency does that mean we are meant to be? Time will be the tell of tales we speak into existence...
So what is it that keeps you here if you have fear that what I bear isn't real?
Consistency is the root of all things evil we as people refuse to explore more than what has presented itself relaying to all less self wealth and love...
I hug you praying you will learn to love more than what people are so willing to pour into your brain
Lesson to remain unlearned until you feel the pain of less growth
So I suppose you will never know until you let go of the consistency that lead you with the inability of letting go!!!
Why can't we take time and wait for the greatest things we cant see today?
Just cause you are happy with me and my consistency does that mean we are meant to be? Time will be the tell of tales we speak into existence...
So what is it that keeps you here if you have fear that what I bear isn't real?
Consistency is the root of all things evil we as people refuse to explore more than what has presented itself relaying to all less self wealth and love...
I hug you praying you will learn to love more than what people are so willing to pour into your brain
Lesson to remain unlearned until you feel the pain of less growth
So I suppose you will never know until you let go of the consistency that lead you with the inability of letting go!!!
Today Is A New Day
Today is a new day
Why dwindle on yesterdays misty rains
Today is your time to say that yesterday's spilled milk should remain just where it laid
Whether or not you attempted to clean up the messes you create shows that you think about the tomorrows of learned yesterdays
Today I love you more than yesterday
Being able to say that even in his request of my last breathe life means more to me every single minute, hour, escalated to the 10th power!
Today is a new day
My hopes and dreams for your tomorrow's I hope that you learn to not wallow in your yesterdays sorrow's.
Today is a new day
I ask of you to knell and pray for your today, leave your yesterday where it lay, and thank him for your tomorrows!
Why dwindle on yesterdays misty rains
Today is your time to say that yesterday's spilled milk should remain just where it laid
Whether or not you attempted to clean up the messes you create shows that you think about the tomorrows of learned yesterdays
Today I love you more than yesterday
Being able to say that even in his request of my last breathe life means more to me every single minute, hour, escalated to the 10th power!
Today is a new day
My hopes and dreams for your tomorrow's I hope that you learn to not wallow in your yesterdays sorrow's.
Today is a new day
I ask of you to knell and pray for your today, leave your yesterday where it lay, and thank him for your tomorrows!
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